I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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