how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Randomize
