Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Randomize
