so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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