Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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