I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
