I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
