Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Randomize
