apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
