Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
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