Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
