I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I had to cum in my sink.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
