I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
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