Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
