I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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