Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
