I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Randomize
