On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
where are my eyebrows?
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