That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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