he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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