If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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