My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize