I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
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