Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
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