How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
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