Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Randomize
