remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
I currently don't understand fingers.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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