Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
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