Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
