You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
