Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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