I accidentally had phone sex last night
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Randomize
