oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
