just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
you didnt know i had herpes?
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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