Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
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