carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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