woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Randomize
