Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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