i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
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