All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
