That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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