it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize
