Buhtt sex?
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
We left an ass print on the piano.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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