she woke up with a sticky ear
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
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