party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
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