He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
We had to coat check the pizza.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Randomize
