So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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