Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Randomize
