Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
