man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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