Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
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