did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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