Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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