i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
