I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
